Sex Quotes
Kids. They’re not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.
-Bill Maher
I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.
-Woody Allen
I’m a terrible lover. I’ve actually given a woman an anti-climax.
-Scott Roeben
Nothing makes you forget about love like sex.
-Stacy Beasley
Science is a lot like sex. Sometimes something useful comes of it, but that’s not the reason we’re doing it.
-Richard Feynman
Television Quotes
The remarkable thing about television is that it permits several million people to laugh at the same joke and still feel lonely.
-T.S. Eliot
All television is educational television. The question is: what is it teaching?
-Nicholas Johnson
Television is a gold goose that lays scrambled eggs; and it is futile and probably fatal to beat it for not laying caviar.
-Lee Loevinger
I hate television. I hate it as much as peanuts. But I can’t stop eating peanuts.
-Orson Wells
The human race is faced with a cruel choice: work or daytime television.
-Unknown
Stupidity Quotes
There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
-Johann von Goethe
Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
-Martin Luther King, Jr.
When a stupid man is doing something he is ashamed of, he always declares that it is his duty.
-George Bernard Shaw
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
-Anonymous
There is nothing more frightful than ignorance in action.
-Johann von Goethe
Marriage Quotes
Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering.
-Unknown
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-Henny Youngman
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married.
-Katherine Hepburn
The man who says his wife can’t take a joke, forgets that she took him.
-Oscar Wilde
I love being married. It’s so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life
-Rita Rudner
Quit Smoking Quotes
It’s easy to quit smoking. I’ve done it hundreds of times.
-Mark Twain
Someone who smokes may want to simply put the pack down and call it quits, but for instance, if you smoke 10 cigarettes a day, cutting back to nine and so on until you gradually quit might give you the best chance of sticking with your decision.
-Rene Britt
Jack, at a New Year’s party, turns to his friend, Harry, and asks for a cigarette.
“I thought you made a New Year’s resolution to quit smoking,” Harry responds.
“I am in the process of quitting,” replies Jack with a grin. “Right now, I am in the middle of phase one.”
“Phase one?” wonders Harry.
“Yeah,” laughs Jack, “I have quit buying.”
-Unknown
Health is not everything, but without health, everything else is nothing.
-Unknown
Motivating Quotes
Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough; we must do.
- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
- Hal Borland
To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone and a
funnybone.
-Reba McEntire
The tragedy of life is not so much what men suffer, but rather what they
miss.
-Thomas Carlyle
Life is not a final. It’s daily pop quizzes.
-Unknown
New Years Resolution Quotes
Good resolutions are like babies crying in church; they should be carried out immediately.
-Charles M. Sheldon
New Year’s Day: Now is the accepted time to make your regular annual good resolutions. Next week you can begin paving hell with them as usual.
-Mark Twain
New Years Quotes
It wouldn’t be New Year’s if I didn’t have regrets.
-William Thomas
New Year’s Day is every man’s birthday.
-Charles Lamb
Your Merry Christmas may depend on what others do for you. But your Happy New Year depends on what you do for others.
-Unknown
Cheers to a new year and another chance for us to get it right.
-Oprah Winfrey
Holiday Quotes
Blessed is the season that engages the whole world in a conspiracy of love.
-Hamilton Wright Mabie
Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.
-Dave Barry
A perpetual holiday is a good working definition of hell.
-George Bernard Shaw
Humorous Quotes
I saved a girl from being attacked last night. I controlled myself.
-Rodney Dangerfield
Build a man a fire, and you’ll warm him for a day. Set a man on fire, and
he’ll be warm for the rest of his life.
-Terry Pratchett
By all means marry. If you get a good wife you will become happy, and if
you get a bad one you will become a philosopher.
-Socrates